Misguided Move

Dear Lynda:
My husband’s parents suddenly decided to move from our small town in Nevada to a town in Kentucky where they know no one. My husband at first was not happy that they wanted to leave our town were we all grew up in, then he decided to move with them. So being the supportive wife I should be, I agreed to a move. I am giving up my family who live on the west coast and leaving my parents who only live a few blocks from me. I guess that my problem is that since we have put our house up for sale my husband is constantly worried about it selling. He hounds me every time he calls, “Is the house clean, and has anyone come by to look at it?” I am not sure if it’s bothering me because I am pregnant, but all I can think about is if I don’t do everything he says that it will get him even more upset. My questions would be: Are we going to sell soon? Will he find a good job? And will my parents be okay with me not here to help them? I know that things do work out for a higher purpose and that I am drawn to Kentucky maybe from a past life but have not figured that out yet. I do feel like if things do not work out the way my husband wants them to that it might affect our marriage. I don’t know how to handle this all on my own and take care of my son and soon a baby. Thank you for your time.
Kristen, Nevada

Dear Kristen:
I'm assuming you are determined to make this move, so please take my feedback with a grain of salt. I'm very concerned that your adult husband has made such an ill-advised decision, based on very flimsy information. I don't think it is necessary to be a "supportive wife," if it means doing what someone else wants you to do (especially this particular situation) rather than what your intuition tells you. I'm convinced you have no desire to go to Kentucky, and you are only going because you lack confidence in yourself. Perhaps you've never had the opportunity to learn to trust yourself, and following someone else's dictates is likely just a habit for you. I think everything about this move is suspect. Nothing seems to be flowing smoothly. What seems to happen for most people (or at least from my limited vantage point) is that when something is in alignment with their deepest desires, things just magically work out. There is no need to stress about houses selling or how a new life will be. Your husband's emotional state concerns me and I hope he doesn't take his psychological confusion out on you and your children. I would guess that you love him very much in order to uproot your life like this, but I don't see clear evidence of that. So, I can only hope that you'll find your strength and make a decision for you and your children about what you want to do with your life. Kentucky doesn't feel like a good match for you. Your husband is behaving immaturely. Please keep in touch and let me know how things unfold.
Lynda

The Light Returns

Dear Lynda:
I hope that you can give me some insight. I am 35, out of a job and am terribly confused. I'm highly educated and have held numerous well-paying positions in the past, but none of them have ever felt right to me. In fact, everything I've ever done felt so wrong, I've always felt like a fish out of water. I've been soul searching since I was at least 13 about how I can contribute in this world but it has not lead to any enlightenment. In fact, everything I try, sooner or later ends up feeling so wrong that I feel nauseous every morning. I can't believe that I'm not meant to do anything in this life! There must be something that I can do, but I'm drawing a blank on what to do next and feel so stuck. This stagnation is spilling over into other areas of my life. My husband and I would really like to have a baby but have been unable to become pregnant. Do you see success in my future in this arena? I would appreciate any thoughts. Thank you!
Singapore

Dear Singapore:
I'm so sorry things have been so difficult. I know how hard it is to keep going in the midst of despair. The best thing I can tell you is that the darkest portion of the night is behind you. At least for this phase of your life. (We all go through cycles of challenges.) Oddly, the strongest thing I see is a relocation. A rather large geographic move. I get the idea that you've done things in the past because of "shoulds, oughts and musts," and that always backfires. I wish I could tell you that I see a pregnancy in your present or near future, but I'm not getting any indication of that yet. But you are entering a time where things will begin to feel "right" to you. Lots of opportunities will present themselves between now and the turning of the next year, and there seems to be a positive shine on that time period. That means you should make a list of every single thing that you feel passionate about, from the smallest to the grandest, and take at least one tiny step every day to move toward your desires. I can see that things have been awful over the past few years, but I promise the wheel is turning and you will like the result. Even though you said that you and your husband wish to have a child, I would ask you to have an honest discussion with him to make sure you both really are on the same page. Please keep me posted.
Lynda

Mystery Woman

Dear Lynda:
I'm very much in a state of confusion and trying to figure out whether or not I'm going nuts or if its real or not. I've had this vision lately, more less here and then, and would like if you could tell me if this is a sign of a reunion of sorts with an ex or if this is a different woman. I hope you can help me seek the answers that I want to know. This is how it goes: I see this woman, I don't know who she is because I can't see her face, but I do see a woman. I don't know if she is visiting or living with me but all I can tell ya is, she is around 30, short and heavy set. She tells me over and over and over again, how much I mean to her, as if she never thought it was possible to ever love someone as much as she loved me. She constantly talks about Oklahoma. In the vision she talks about her ex-husband who was truly mean to her and that her family has nothing to do with her. I don't know if she could have any children or not that part is not clear. But all I hear her say is, "Timothy, you have no idea how much I love you and appreciate what you have done for me," but there are bits and pieces of the vision I can't remember. But I do know it was warm weather, like May or June might even be July or August not sure. Question: Is this my ex-girlfriend or is this a totally different girl? If so, when am I supposed to meet this person, if she exists? Also I was told that I too, share a gift of psychic ability of some sorts, but yet it has not fully developed nor cIn i control it. I don't know if the psychic I talked to was real or just telling me something just to hear herself talk. Also I'm supposed to tote around a crystal in my pocket and she is supposed to go and read it after a number of days also am supposed take another crystal and bury it. Now, could you please tell me in your own words, English please, what the heck is all that about.
Tim from Tennessee

Dear Tim:
I'm not sure why it matters who this woman is, or whether she is merely a metaphorical symbol of your unconscious. If you desire to be in a loving relationship with the right woman for you, simply hold that intention and allow her to be magnetized to you. I get the impression that relationships have been difficult for you in the past, so maybe the best place to start is with some self-healing. Sometimes we do have prophetic visions, and those can be interesting, but my advice remains the same. If you want her to show up, expect her -- joyfully. Some psychics enjoy doing a lot of ritualistic things. It sounds like the person you spoke to falls into that category. Just make sure she isn't asking you for a lot of money (beyond the reasonable cost of the reading she gave you) to do any of this crystal stuff for you. Crystals and other things are mostly focusing tools. If it makes you feel good to carry the crystal, go ahead and do it. If not . . . We all have psychic abilities. It's just another one of our senses. If you wish to develop them, you can. As with everything else, the more you give attention to something, the stronger it gets. Best wishes.
Lynda

Letting Go

Dear Lynda:
My ex-boyfriend and I had a bad break-up (very emotional, there was a betrayal on his part, deep depression and alcohol abuse on my part. As a result, I finally checked myself into the hospital and got some help for my depression, which was overwhelming). Clearly, I have dependency issues, and I’m working on that. But here’s the question: I have made considerable efforts in writing to express forgiveness toward him, responsibility for my own part of the failure, and acceptance of our current situation. I’m even moving out of the city, and I have not tried to see him or call him in weeks. The last time we talked, he said that when he was ready for a committed relationship he was going to hunt me down. So, I am trying to move forward but also holding on in my heart. What confuses me is that there were some practical matters that needed to be taken care of (exchange of keys, money, etc.), and he has not responded to any of my written requests that we take care of these matters. He has not responded to my writing, period. I had to cut the lock off of the storage shed that we share because I couldn’t get him to return the key --- the shed is on my property. Why can’t he/won’t he respond to me at all, even though I am making no demands of him emotionally or asking to see him, begging that we get back together, or any of that? Why the complete silence?
Sad curlygirl

Dear Sad: He isn't responding because he doesn't want to. Holding onto what he said about "hunting you down" will only bring you grief. Unfortunately, some men are more courageous than others, and the one you're talking about isn't courageous at all. At least not emotionally. Let go of expecting to hear from him. None of the practical matters are important. He has already moved on, and I hope you'll allow yourself to do the same. You'll only hurt yourself by not seeing him clearly.