Dear Lynda: Thank you very much for your previous advice, so I understand if you limit how many questions you can answer for one individual. Anyway I am writing in hopes of perspective, my spouse and I have decided that we are moving/changing jobs by next summer come what may -- life is too short to sacrifice quality of life in the name of career. We both feel really good that this is the year we are moving forward and while I don't know in what form it will happen, I keep trying to focus on the amazing opportunity that lay ahead for us. Meanwhile there is the day to day stress of trying to balance family and everything else. There are some jobs that I have applied, or and that I will apply for (so far a small number) but also a larger number of jobs that I qualify for and could apply for BUT my gut tells me they just aren't right. Many of these jobs are in locations that neither my spouse or I want to live but we are in a field that often requires you to move where the job is. However, the last two moves have been to places we didn't want to live and feel like we are at a point of leaving our field of work in order to be able to work somewhere we actually want to live. So I find myself torn between what I feel in my gut to be right and my brain saying but if you don't apply for more jobs you may not have any options by next summer (I am also wondering if I am dismissing something that I really shouldn't). At times I also wonder whether its just my current work environment or if its just the nature of this profession and that I won't be happy in a similar job elsewhere no matter where somewhere else is. I feel as if I am doing the right thing to ignore the jobs that don't seem right but I wonder if I don't have clear perspective about my own situation. I am trying hard to focus on the positive and not to make decisions based in fear but its hard to do that all of the time. Any perspective or insight would be much appreciated.
Thanks So Much,
Dear Hopeful: I think your dilemma is one of the most challenging: realizing that attracting the opportunity which will bring you the most joy depends on you keeping your focus on what you desire rather than "what is" -- yet finding it difficult to not get pulled into the "truth" of consensus reality. It's easy to be fearful. In fact, being fearful seems to be the rational response. But when we are filled with fear, all we can attract are more reasons to be fearful. What I try to do myself is to give just a little more attention (mentally, etc.) to what I want and a little less to everything else. Spend more time imagining how it will feel to be in the best job for you in the best location. You don't need to know what/where that is. Here's what I see for you, specifically, over the next few months: There is a positive, uplifting "bump" of energy coming right after the first of the year. That could translate into a job possibility. It starts out as a seed, then grows. It might be good keep your relationship on the front burner, too. Check in with your mate about her level of anxiety, which might be more intense and about different things than yours is. I'm confident 2010 will be a much better year for you. Keep me posted!