The Psychic Counselor

Do you have questions about life changes? Emotional concerns? Relationship issues? Spiritual matters? Send your questions to The Psychic Counselor, Lynda Hilburn, and check back here for your answers. Or you can read through the previous posts (check the Archives) to find answers you didn't even have questions for! [*LyndaSoul isn't my name -- it's the combo of my first name with the first word in the name of my hypnotherapy training school.]

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Sensing Energy

Dear Lynda:
I am a 46-year-old female. I have been married for 22 years and have two children. Throughout most of my life I've been able to sense things, i.e., when a loved one needs me, or when someone is doing something harmful to me. Lately I have been experiencing other people's emotional pain. This is emotional and physically painful for me. Can you advise me about what I can do to stop this.
Sad In Waco

Dear Sad: It is difficult being caught up in others' energy/emotions before we figure out that we can choose how much -- if any -- of that we wish to feel. It seems to me that you've only recently given yourself full permission to explore all your talents, and your sensitivity is one of your finest gifts and biggest challenges. This might sound cold, but everyone has emotional pain. It's just part of being alive. There's nothing wrong with it, even if it's intense. Each soul chooses it's own experiences -- emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. We can't ever know why someone attracts and re-experiences so much pain. But it's ok for you to observe it without having any opinions about it. In fact, it really doesn't help anyone if you have opinions about it or reactions to it. The soul in question has gone to great lengths to create the current situation. You can only know the small part you can see/sense/feel from the outside. So, here's my advice: let whatever emotions you choose to feel wash through you, and don't attempt to hold onto them. They aren't yours to do anything with, and you're merely an observer. Then, if you decide you don't even want that much contact, simply imagine yourself deeply grounded in the Earth, sending the healing, light energy up through your feet, through your entire body, to form a lovely bubble around your body. You'll be so full of your own "vibe" that you won't be affected by energy floating around you. Let me know how it works out. An even simpler way is just to let go of the attachment to feeling what's out there. Sometimes that's harder than it sounds, because being able to read the emotional environment becomes a way we define ourselves. I can relate.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Old Boyfriend?

Dear Lynda:
I have been married almost 6 years and have a son who is almost 4. My relationship is good, but a lot of work. The problem is that I still miss my ex-boyfriend very much. I broke up with him 11 years ago, but still want him. He would probably not want me back. I love my husband and son. What should I do about this longing for my ex-boyfriend?

Dear Confused:
What comes to mind for me is the statement, "you don't know what you've got until it's gone." But I'm not applying it to your former boyfriend. It comes up for me about your marriage. As much as it might seem to be about your former boyfriend, your feelings are really about something inside you. Something about your life. Something about a part of yourself that is yearning. And I believe you aren't missing the old boyfriend. You're missing something he means to you, or a way you behaved around him, or the unlimited hopes of the future, or the freedom you had back then. Fantasizing about an old flame always beats the heck outta dealing with the daily grind of working at a relationship. I'll be as clear as I can. Your marriage is worth focusing on. Your child deserves your clarity. And, even if the old boyfriend wanted you more than life itself, your relationship with that old guy still wouldn't work. In fact, he's not even remotely the person you remember and you wouldn't like it. Or him. Really. Now, the question is: Are you willing to be courageous and face that the problem has nothing to do with anyone else? That there is something you are refusing to face about yourself? Your hopes? Your dreams? So, how can you put yourself and your needs higher on your priority list? That isn't being selfish (despite much opinion to the contrary). It's being awake. Stop looking outside yourself and explore the place where exciting things are really happening.