The Psychic Counselor

Do you have questions about life changes? Emotional concerns? Relationship issues? Spiritual matters? Send your questions to The Psychic Counselor, Lynda Hilburn, and check back here for your answers. Or you can read through the previous posts (check the Archives) to find answers you didn't even have questions for! [*LyndaSoul isn't my name -- it's the combo of my first name with the first word in the name of my hypnotherapy training school.]

Saturday, August 19, 2006

The Dark Night

I've been going through what feels like some major life changes in the past couple of months. I ended a two year relationship in which we were living together. Since then there have been times I have felt completely lost, without energy, dealing with issues, and missing my partner. Wondering really what the future holds, trying to find things to be positive about, and really wondering when life is going to turn around for me. Not really sure what I should be doing right now. Still wondering if this is the person for me, and if I got out of my depressed state, could we make it work as a relationship? Much uncertainty in my life right now, with work, life, love.
G., Colorado

Dear G:
I'm going to state the obvious, first. When we're lost in the dark clouds of depression, nothing feels good. Nothing seems hopeful. The sun rarely shines. I'd ordinarily ask you if you would consider seeing someone for your depression, but I see evidence that -- either you are doing that or you've decided to (consciously or unconsciously) -- things are going to improve. You're still slogging through the manure field right now, but I see an end to that. At least an end to the depth of it. It's easier to trudge through ankle-deep manure than chest-deep. Sorry for the less-than-delightful metaphor. If I had to sum up the cycle that begins in the Fall for you, I'd say "unexpected positive possibilities." As dark as things look right now (and please, make your decision to get some help conscious and take action), the next year looks much more hopeful. I think your difficulties aren't only (maybe even not even primarily) about relationships. You seem to be grappling with major beliefs about yourself, your choices and old patterns. So, here's some good news: love is near. You'll either meet someone brand new (there is an energy of the unexpected) or a former relationship will realign itself. It definitely isn't a rehash of the same old-same old. Lots of healthy opportunities for you, in most areas of your life. Now your task is to line yourself up with those positive outcomes. Perhaps my response to the question before yours might offer additional thoughts. Please keep me posted.

Seeking Her Lifemate

I need guidance and confirmation of what I should do regarding my personal life. I have been separated from my old boyfriend for nearly 2.5 years; we had been together for nine years before this. Last Christmas it seemed as if we were nearing reconciliation but when I asked him if he had decided if he wanted to spend his life with me, he was still uncertain. So, in Feb. I began to date another man and it was only then that my old boyfriend decided that he wanted to marry me! I declined his offer as I didn’t want (and couldn’t frankly believe) that this reactionary response to my new relationship was sincere. Now my new romance has ended and I would like to get back together with my old boyfriend, but I don’t know if it is a hopeless cause and/or even for my highest good. I just turned 40 this summer and I am so tired of being alone; all I ever wanted as an adult woman was to be married to a wonderful man…why hasn’t this happened? Is marriage in the cards for me and if you could give me an idea as to how long I need to wait. I live in a remote area and there are not a lot of opportunities to meet men here, so I am wondering how and where I might meet the man that I am to share this life with.

P.S.: Another psychic told me that she senses that I am a very old spirit who is perhaps living my last mortal life. She said, this time I should get it right in the love dept. Do you get the same sense?

Thank you for your talents and guidance.

CH, Colorado

Dear CH:
One of the difficult things about being fearful about something is that we attract the very outcome that we don't want. In general, if we want "x," and instead of daydreaming, fantasizing about how wonderful it will be to have "x," how great it makes us feel to have "x," we constantly notice "x" isn't here. We tend to spend 99% of our time worrying about "x," fixating on when "x" will show up. Unfortunately, whatever we focus on, we get more of. So right now you're getting lots of evidence of "x isn't here." My general feeling is that your desire to have your former boyfriend back is a fear reaction. The notion that even something that doesn't feel good is better than nothing. Your intuition was on-target when you declined his (fear-based) offer when you were with the other fellow. One of the soundbites that Phil McGraw (Dr. Phil) frequently utters that I happen to agree with is, "we teach people how to treat us." If we're willing to settle for crumbs -- if we believe that's all we deserve (usually unconsciously) -- then crumbs is what we'll get. Can't live on crumbs. So, here's what I think: the moment you give yourself permission to stop worrying about the mate issue, the moment you relax and turn your focus to something you actually enjoy, something unexpected will happen. I don't see your mate being the former guy. I see someone absolutely new entering the picture. It really doesn't matter what joyful actions you take to make this happen: internet dating, etc. The joyful part is all that matters. You seem to have some ideas about yourself and men that aren't helpful, so you might do a bit more compassionate self-exploration. Whatever happened in the past is only a major element in your future if you keep your attention on it.

I don't share the spiritual philosophy offered by the other psychic you mentioned. I believe that our choice to be on Earth is a joyful one, gleefully chosen because we seek experiences. All kinds of experiences. In the larger perspective, absolutes don't exist (good vs. bad, etc.). It is only when we look at life with our limited understanding that we think things are inexplicable. Or if we have a fear/punishment-based perspective. You have as much opportunity to have a wonderful love experience in this lifetime as in any other. It isn't decided outside of you. You are the chooser. Honest.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Following Your Passion

Hi Lynda:
I wrote to you earlier about a hypnotherapy school catalog, but I'm intrigued and would like to know if this career change is helping me progress in the right direction spiritually at this time. My husband, son and I are struggling a bit financially and I'm wondering if this would be the best time to explore this field. I have been told many times that I am intuitive, and after reading your website about HSPs-whoa! Is that me!! I've also noticed in your description of EHSP that my son fits that bill to a T. He was diagnosed with Asperger's , which as I'm sure you know is a mild form of Autism, and I've always wondered about his abilities. He used to tell me he could see angels flying in the sky when he was young. He doesn't remember it now. Please let me know if you think I would be heading in the right direction. Thank you for any answers you may have for me.
Robin, Colorado

Dear Robin: There is overwhelming evidence that you are in a growth period. The indications are that whatever you "plant" for the rest of this year (and into the new Spring), will be harvested in positive ways. The key is for you to follow your passion. Whatever interests/intrigues you needs to be explored and tasted. It's my belief that if something feels good when you do it -- or when you think about it -- then you're on the right path: spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically. Hypnotherapy might be a doorway into other interests. There is no hurry in uncovering all of your new directions. You're in a time when the answer is "this/and" rather than "either/or." Whenever something new calls to you, answer. Like most other Highly Sensitive People, you'll find yourself drawn to several outlets for your interests, rather than only one or two.

Isn't it wonderful that your son arrived with an open heart/open mind and he allowed himself to see layers of the universe we "rational grownups" shut down much too early? My son used to tell me things like that and I was sorry when he let "reality" overwhelm his larger vision. But, for both our sons, the ability to see beyond the norm remains.

I don't see an ongoing struggle with money for you and your family, so you can relax a little bit and know that new doors are opening in that arena, too. Keep me posted!