The Dark Night
I've been going through what feels like some major life changes in the past couple of months. I ended a two year relationship in which we were living together. Since then there have been times I have felt completely lost, without energy, dealing with issues, and missing my partner. Wondering really what the future holds, trying to find things to be positive about, and really wondering when life is going to turn around for me. Not really sure what I should be doing right now. Still wondering if this is the person for me, and if I got out of my depressed state, could we make it work as a relationship? Much uncertainty in my life right now, with work, life, love.
I'm going to state the obvious, first. When we're lost in the dark clouds of depression, nothing feels good. Nothing seems hopeful. The sun rarely shines. I'd ordinarily ask you if you would consider seeing someone for your depression, but I see evidence that -- either you are doing that or you've decided to (consciously or unconsciously) -- things are going to improve. You're still slogging through the manure field right now, but I see an end to that. At least an end to the depth of it. It's easier to trudge through ankle-deep manure than chest-deep. Sorry for the less-than-delightful metaphor. If I had to sum up the cycle that begins in the Fall for you, I'd say "unexpected positive possibilities." As dark as things look right now (and please, make your decision to get some help conscious and take action), the next year looks much more hopeful. I think your difficulties aren't only (maybe even not even primarily) about relationships. You seem to be grappling with major beliefs about yourself, your choices and old patterns. So, here's some good news: love is near. You'll either meet someone brand new (there is an energy of the unexpected) or a former relationship will realign itself. It definitely isn't a rehash of the same old-same old. Lots of healthy opportunities for you, in most areas of your life. Now your task is to line yourself up with those positive outcomes. Perhaps my response to the question before yours might offer additional thoughts. Please keep me posted.