The Psychic Counselor

Do you have questions about life changes? Emotional concerns? Relationship issues? Spiritual matters? Send your questions to The Psychic Counselor, Lynda Hilburn, and check back here for your answers. Or you can read through the previous posts (check the Archives) to find answers you didn't even have questions for! [*LyndaSoul isn't my name -- it's the combo of my first name with the first word in the name of my hypnotherapy training school.]

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Unwelcome Guests

Dear Lynda:
I'm writing to you today because I have a few concerns and I am hoping you might be able to give me some answers. Not only for my peace of mind but, mostly for my Mother's . I'm 28 years old and I live at home with my mom and 9 year old sister. Almost 3 years ago, my mom's brother, wife and daughter had plans to move to Las Vegas. They told their landlord they were moving out and to find someone else to rent the house to. At the last moment they had a fight with their older daughter, who already lived in Vegas and they were unable to move in with her, so they had nowhere to go. My mom being the caring and helping person that she is, offered to help them out by letting them move in with us for a couple months. She told them, she would only charge them $ 300 per month to help them save money and get their own place in Vegas. Now, it's been almost three years and apparently they can't afford to move out on their own. The problem is that the only income they can count on is my uncle's paycheck. His wife is disabled and she gets about $800 a month from disability but, she is a careless, selfish, money spending slob, who only cares about herself and is not willing to help better their situation. My cousin and aunt are both the same, they are dirty, lazy and all they want to do is be out in the streets and spend money. They lie to my uncle to get money from him all the time, not to mention they eat fast food all day long. My mother is so stressed out, I'm afraid she is going to have a nervous breakdown. According to my aunt, she says that she she has gone to look at a few apartments and houses for rent, but I don't see how that is possible when she sleeps all day long and the only time she leaves the house is pretty much at night. She is such a liar. So, that is one of my concerns. The other one is that last week she came to me and said she wanted to tell me something, but I had to promise not to tell anyone. She told me that morning my cousin ( 21 years old) received a phone call from her doctor telling her that she has cervical cancer. My aunt told me not to say anything to anyone because, my cousin doesn't want anyone to know. Not even her Dad. I asked my aunt, then why are you telling me and she said, "because I trust you!" I think that my aunt is lying because my cousin doesn't even seem upset or worried.
I don't know what to think. Maybe she just told me that, so I can tell my mom and make her feel sorry for them and they can stay longer. What do you think? Do you see them moving out anytime soon? And, do you think, that my cousin might have cervical cancer? Please help!!!

Dear Jessica:
This is one of those times when there are no easy answers. And this is your mother's task to deal with -- not yours. Sometimes it is hard for us to watch loved ones struggle, and we wish we could take the burden from them. But remember that your mother's spirit/inner wisdom brought her to this situation for some important reason. A reason that only she knows (unconsciously). She must set her boundaries and ask her brother and his family to leave. Nothing will change until your mother takes that step. She has to take responsibility for her own wellbeing and happiness, and you can't do that for her. Of course, you can take responsibility for your own by finding your own place to live, if that would be helpful for you. Your relatives will continue to be a financial/emotional/mental drain on your household until your mother makes a new decision. After your mother makes that new decision and sets new boundaries, things will get a lot better for her.

I have no medical intuitive-type knowledge, so I can't give you any insights about your cousin's state of health. What I can tell you is that whatever is going on with your cousin and your aunt definitely involves money problems.

Once again, nothing will improve until your mother takes a stand. This isn't about when/if your relatives will leave. It's about when your mother makes that happen. This is her challenge. Let her take it on.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Nonordinary Experiences

Dear Lynda:
As of this evening I've about had it. I've blown every light bulb in our house multiple times over the past six months. Sometimes they pop when my body is near them, or they pop when I turn them on. These are light bulbs that have been in the light fixtures for only a day, few days, or less than two weeks. They can be lamps, bathroom fixtures, and even ceiling fixtures. No one else in the family makes the bulbs pop. The light bulbs don't just not turn on, they actually pop loudly and crackle in front of me. It's really bothering me. I'm a grown woman in my forties and have often had strange experiences since I was a child.

Last fall I had just left my ill mother at the hospital and went out into the hospital parking lot to the car. I had my purse in one hand, and my car keys in my right hand. I sat down in the driver's car seat, rested my head a minute, and, after a minute, decided I should start the car and head home after the long day. Suddenly the car radio came on. The car keys weren't even in the ignition. I was able to turn the radio off, and quickly started the car. I sat for a few minutes staring at the radio feeling rather prickly. The song playing was nothing special. Not like when my brother died 13 years ago in New York, and the song "A New York Minute" came on the radio at 10:11 am while I was at my desk at work, and for some odd reason it made me think of him and I looked at the clock. I found out eight hours later that he was crushed beneath a car in his automotive garage at that moment.

Recently, while talking to my 24 yr. old daughter over the phone, I heard her say a full sentence to me in my head before it actually came out of her mouth. It was a sentence that was totally out of the blue. Not anything I would have expected, heard before, or would have anticipated. I felt ethereal immediately afterwards. My hair prickled and my arms had goosebumps.

Right now I feel tired -- emotionally spent. I feel on edge. I have absolutely strange, strange, strange dreams. Nothing scary -- just long, unusual, and they play out like novels. Often my dreams stay with me through the day -- the feelings, emotions, and sometimes a sickly feeling of dread. It's that feeling of dread when the dream flows over me at odd moments of the day. I can never pinpoint why I feel that dread. There are times when that dread washes over me at the oddest times -- putting laundry in the washer, reading a book, setting the table, etc. Only every once in a while I will have an instantaneous flash of a women in the 1940s era standing at the back door of her house looking out over her rear yard, and seeing a man driving down a dirt road in an old horse and buggy. That sense of dread washes over me to powerfully that I feel ill and panicky. It's a feeling of disgust, aversion, suspense, evilness, and more. I can see the kitchen counters beside me, feel the lightness of the dress I'm wearing along with an apron, picture the yard before me, sense the size of the house, know my hair color and style, and hear the sound of the screen door. Many, many of my dreams are like this.

I HAVE had four experiences in the past year where I'm frozen in my bed in the early hours before I wake up, and I feel scared. It feels like I'm awake. I can look around my room and down the hall, but I can't break through a strange ethereal feeling. My sense of hearing is sharp, yet I feel like I'm in a slight fog and can't break away. I feel that there is another presence in the house. I've never seen this presence, but it's an acute feeling that this being is there. It's almost like when I'm in this state and open my eyes that I make the presence move away. It's an awful feeling.

I've also had several times in my dreams and waking up moments where I am unable to discern the difference between the real world and my dream world. I literally have to fight to get back to the real world. I will be in my dream asking myself, "is THIS my real life? Or that other life?." I have to pull myself out of the dream, try to gather my surroundings, force myself to open my eyes and situate myself in this world -- bedroom walls, trees outside the window, etc. There are times when I'm so afraid that I'll get left in the dreams. My dreams are VERY realistic -- feelings, touch, texture, and a sense of colors.

I've been told I'm very sensitive to people, very intuitive, and am the "go to" person when people want to talk. Even in high school. I just need to know if what is going on with me is fairly normal, or if there is something more going on around me.

Thanks for your patience and taking the time to read this email. This is just a smattering of what I sense and feel almost daily, so I appreciate any input you can give me.


Dear Barb: I understand why you'd be concerned about all your experiences. They do seem to add up to having quite a lot on your psychic plate. Many people work very hard to open themselves up to the kinds of experiences you just naturally have. First, make some decisions about how much of the otherworldly stuff you want to deal with. Seriously. These things don't come to us without an invitation (conscious or unconscious) from us. You can mediate how much of it you get, and in what forms it comes. It is often the case that powerfully negative information is the easiest to pick up. Or things with a lot of emotional baggage for you personally.

I know what you mean about the lightbulbs. It's so annoying to pop them daily. Not to mention the small appliances, watches, etc. I have to make conscious efforts not to blast things with my electromagnetic energy. Sometimes I forget. I use it as an excuse to be mindful -- to approach light fixtures, appliances, etc. with awake intention. I sometimes shake my hands before I touch something electrical (which includes my car, car radio, CD player, etc.) and then I imagine the outcome I desire. Usually when I do that, everything remains "normal." I especially love when the radio (any radio) comes on by itself just so I can hear a certain phrase from a song.

See if you can relax about your abilities. If the experiences cause you to feel very strange, uncomfortable and give you a sense of dread, remember that you're picking up vibes that are not necessarily yours. Create something helpful to yourself from whatever your philosophy is: if you believe in surrounding yourself in white light, definitely do that. If imagining that you have the roots of an ancient, wise tree, then do that. If you have a spirit guide who protects you, call her/him. Whatever works. Sometimes you'll have to change it to suit the weirdness of the occasion.

If you start to feel the boundaries between what you believe is "real" and "unreal" blurring, you might need additional assistance to re-draw the lines. Take charge. Determine what you wish to experience and imagine closing the door on the rest. Or, if you would simply like to enjoy all of it according to your rules, perceptions, limitations, etc., just make that very clear. Once again, this isn't happening outside of you. Something about these experiences are resonating with an inner trigger from you. There's nothing bad here. You get to decide how nonordinary you'd like this life to be. Vivid dreaming is exciting, but if it gets to be too much for you, perhaps you could utilize hypnosis to adjust your experience. Keep me posted.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Will I Hear From Him?

Dear Lynda:
I really would like to have this man, Stephen back into my life. Since I really haven't had much communication with him since February it is very hard to know what has taken place in his life or if he is even with anyone else. I have only spoken with him on April 11, 2006, briefly on April 12, 2006 and a few minutes on June 2, 2006. Each time on April 11 and June 2 he wanted to see me. I have not heard anything since June 2, 2006. I have received a number of hang up calls on my home phone number, but I have no idea if they are connected with him. There have been some strange cell calls and again, I don't know if he has anything to do with them either. He is a man who just stopped communicating with me in February and I have no reason why. I never asked him, when I talked with him. He and I got along great and I felt we had the basis for a good relationship because in his last e-mail on February 12, 2006 he stated that he wanted to continue seeing me, he wanted to take me places and that he would never do me wrong and signed it, Love, Stephen. Well, I was just very confused and hurt when he did the opposite and abruptly stopped communicating with me. The very last time I actually was with him was on February 16, 2006 when I went to his apartment and spoke with him for about 30 minutes. Lynda, I miss him so much and I wish I knew what happened then and when I am going to hear from him next so that I can be much better prepared. Being kept in the dark has been very hard and I just wish you could tell me something enlightening about this situation. I wish I could see him again and he feel so bad about the way he treated me that he would do almost anything to make it up to me. Lynda, do you think he ever thinks about me? Please let me hear from you soon. Just knowing when I will hear from him next would mean so much to me. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for listening to me.

Dear Patricia:
My heart aches for you. Not because you're yearning to hear from this poor, emotionally-unstable fellow, but because you are so willing to settle for crumbs. Sweetie, I don't understand why you miss him. You never had him. It was all smoke. He doesn't mean to be hurtful. He doesn't mean to be distant and confusing and unavailable. But he is. Someone that emotionally unbalanced simply can't be what you're looking for. And, even if he does contact you again (and he probably doesn't remember if he did contact you, or if he ever said he would, etc.), it will be the same thing over and over and over again. I know you believe right now that you need him. That your life will be empty without him. My dear, your life would be empty with him. I don't think you actually did get along great. I think you tried to do whatever he wanted you to do, or whatever you imagined would rock the boat as little as possible and keep him around. That's a terrible basis for a relationship. I know you don't want to hear this, but my feeling is he won't contact you. And if you manage to get in touch with him, he'll only cause you pain. But, if you let yourself heal from this disappointment, something wonderful (a new love) is on your horizon. Be well.