Sensitivity and Writing

Lynda: I'm a big fan of your fiction books and hope that you continue writing about Devereux and Kismet. However I do have a question for you involving psychic sensitivity. I'm not even sure how to put this into words really. I have been kind of sensitive to people for a long time. When I was young, every time I was in a crowd I felt like I needed a serious nap after because I was so tired afterwards and I needed time on my own to feel better. When I was twenty three I got a double lung transplant. Those feelings seem to have gotten a lot sharper and now it feels like I always have someone around me. And the weird thing is that someone is listening to me!! For example, I lose something, I think to myself . . . ok . . . really gotta find this item . . . please help me and seconds later I find what I'm looking for. It's happened too many times to be a coincidence because believe me, if my head wasn't screwed on I would lose that too . . . he he. Am I imagining things?

I'm also wondering something about my career path. I feel kind of odd for asking, but I do write (I wrote to you once but sometimes AOL and hotmail don't mix. Or you were just uber busy.) and was wondering if it's possible to know if the writer thing will work out or not. 99.9% of this is up to me I realize and you know even if it didn't I still like writing as it's cathartic. I'm just an intensely curious person. Thanks for your time.
M

Dear M: I sometimes think my computer has gremlins or poltergeists because people often tell me they sent an email that I never received! I'm glad you wrote again and thanks so much for the kind words about my novels. I love writing them and I'm glad they bring you pleasure. Regarding your sensitivity (if you haven't already read the article I have posted on www.lyndahilburn.com called "You're Too Sensitive," please check it out. It will answer some of your questions.) I don't think you are listening to "someone else." I'd say you're listening to one of the many aspects of yourself. And what a marvelous thing! If you can find lost objects, how awesome for you! If you wish these abilities to increase, simply utilize them with joy and expect them to grow. It's all normal and natural, and sometimes (such as after your surgery), the blockages we had earlier are removed and we get to experience enhanced awareness. About your writing: First, if you love writing, you're already successful because the act of creation brings you pleasure. What I see about your publishing future has several layers: Get very clear about what genre you love writing. I'm wondering if you need to refine your focus and perhaps make a change? If you do make a change, the resistance you would have encountered with your first choice will be mediated so that good outcomes flow more easily toward you. Don't be overly influenced by other opinions. Keep the healthy balance of accepting their feedback and critique while holding onto your voice and vision. It's a slippery slope. Take this with a grain: I see lots of positive results unfolding over the next 10 years. That doesn't mean it won't happen for 10 years. It means there will be several small successes along that time period. So, sit down in front of your computer and write. Keep me posted!
Lynda

Take The Courageous Path

Lynda: Thank you for this opportunity to receive some input from you. I've never seemed to have the funds to get into long-term professional counseling which I feel is what I need. I grew up with an alcoholic father who abused me. My mother was also emotionally distant.

Anyway, I've spent a number of years in various help groups and counselors offices, but there are still several underlying issues. I feel the core issue is I don't have a self-identity. My self-esteem is pretty low as well. And I am aware that I have control issues too.

I am looking for gainful employment so that I can afford to get into professional counseling but I don't have much hope. I have tried for 2 years to find a job I feel I am good at and have the physical abilities to keep. My resumes do not even get replies. I don't have a car so that complicates things as well.

What advice do you have for me? Right now, I live with my mother and I pay rent with my savings. I would love to deal with the issues and be free of them. I have come a long way in my life compared to where I used to be, but there is so much more that I would like to deal with. Thank you, Deb

Dear Deb: I'm so sorry things aren't going well. I work three days per week at a community mental health center in the Denver area. If you lived in that location, I would advise you to contact the center for an intake and ask to be assigned to one of the many wonderful counselors there on an ability-to-pay basis. You still might want to give counseling one more try and approach a mental health center in your town. Sometimes it takes a while for insights to show up. But, in the meantime, let me pull some Tarot cards for you and see what you're attracting.

First, I completely understand how challenging it can be to transform old, unhealthy patterns. We all have them. I find it helpful to remember that these patterns couldn't continue to control our lives if we didn't focus on them -- if we didn't tell the old story (no matter how "true" it feels) again and again. To my way of thinking, it isn't that you have no self-identity. It's that you have a negative one. For some reason (or multiple reasons, more likely) you have beliefs that are in opposition to what you say you want. I want to recommend the books/tapes/CDs/workshops of Esther Hicks to you. She is a marvelous, funny, compassionate motivational speaker. You can probably get her books from your local library, and here is her website address: www.abraham-hicks.com. You need a jump-start on a new set of possibilities. Now, having said that, if you are willing to do the courageous work of focusing on what you desire instead of what is, I see a turning point for you. The first phase will present itself this spring and the second phase during the late fall. If you're willing to stop acting out the old script and write a new one, there is even a marvelous love relationship for you. So, here it is one more time: you can either focus on what was and what is, and continue attracting evidence of that. Or you can relentlessly, stubbornly, idealistically think about, imagine, take actions in regard to what you'd rather have. It isn't easy, but it's do-able. Keep in touch.
Lynda

He Can't "Read" Me

Lynda: I came across your blog and I have a question that has really been bothering me since last night. I've been communicating with a man for over 3 years now through phone and internet. He has told me several stories about how he can read people, and how he will say something (without thinking about it) and it will come to pass. He knows as soon as he says it, that it is a fact -- it will happen -- and it does. I'm usually a skeptical person, but I believe him. In fact, he says a lot of his friends/acquaintances have been weirded out by his knowledge of things that are happening or will happen.

Also, last night he told me for the first time that I am the first person that he could not read. He said it had nothing to do with the fact we have never physically interacted, but for the first time in his life -- he reads nothing. It was very weird -- but he said he could never finish my sentences (like most other people he reads), and that it was almost like I was an alien (to him). He termed it as "something about you is not valid" -- not from the perspective that something is wrong, right, or even missing- just that he can't really read me.

I am using the term "read," but he does not claim to be a psychic. He has never tried to "read" for a friend or acquaintance. Things just come into his mind or he says things in normal conversation that come to pass. He knows it is intuition as soon as the words leave his mouth.

I don't have a question about romance. I'm just wondering what this means, and why this man (that I can't seem to shake -- for better or worse) is in my life and I am in his. Does this have something to do with it? And what does it mean that I am unreadable to him?

For some reason we are drawn to each other, but he told me (after years of knowing him) that I perplex him, because of this. He is also at a crucial turning point in his life -- if this helps. Thank you for your help.
D

Dear D: Thanks for writing. How exciting for him that he has the ability to send his perception into the "future." I hope he will keep in mind that while he might get a clear sense of "what will happen," his ability to interpret the information is still specific to him -- determined by his personal filters. We often know things. I think that's a normal, human ability. Whether or not we allow our egos to get involved in the presentation of that knowing is another question. I learned a long time ago that simply because I know something, doesn't mean I have any right or obligation to share that information. Whether or not he can "read" you is about him and not about you. He seems to attribute importance to that inability, which tells me he has a larger agenda in regard to you than he is sharing. But if the connection is enjoyable, I support you in its continuation.
Best, Lynda