Take The Courageous Path

Lynda: Thank you for this opportunity to receive some input from you. I've never seemed to have the funds to get into long-term professional counseling which I feel is what I need. I grew up with an alcoholic father who abused me. My mother was also emotionally distant.

Anyway, I've spent a number of years in various help groups and counselors offices, but there are still several underlying issues. I feel the core issue is I don't have a self-identity. My self-esteem is pretty low as well. And I am aware that I have control issues too.

I am looking for gainful employment so that I can afford to get into professional counseling but I don't have much hope. I have tried for 2 years to find a job I feel I am good at and have the physical abilities to keep. My resumes do not even get replies. I don't have a car so that complicates things as well.

What advice do you have for me? Right now, I live with my mother and I pay rent with my savings. I would love to deal with the issues and be free of them. I have come a long way in my life compared to where I used to be, but there is so much more that I would like to deal with. Thank you, Deb

Dear Deb: I'm so sorry things aren't going well. I work three days per week at a community mental health center in the Denver area. If you lived in that location, I would advise you to contact the center for an intake and ask to be assigned to one of the many wonderful counselors there on an ability-to-pay basis. You still might want to give counseling one more try and approach a mental health center in your town. Sometimes it takes a while for insights to show up. But, in the meantime, let me pull some Tarot cards for you and see what you're attracting.

First, I completely understand how challenging it can be to transform old, unhealthy patterns. We all have them. I find it helpful to remember that these patterns couldn't continue to control our lives if we didn't focus on them -- if we didn't tell the old story (no matter how "true" it feels) again and again. To my way of thinking, it isn't that you have no self-identity. It's that you have a negative one. For some reason (or multiple reasons, more likely) you have beliefs that are in opposition to what you say you want. I want to recommend the books/tapes/CDs/workshops of Esther Hicks to you. She is a marvelous, funny, compassionate motivational speaker. You can probably get her books from your local library, and here is her website address: www.abraham-hicks.com. You need a jump-start on a new set of possibilities. Now, having said that, if you are willing to do the courageous work of focusing on what you desire instead of what is, I see a turning point for you. The first phase will present itself this spring and the second phase during the late fall. If you're willing to stop acting out the old script and write a new one, there is even a marvelous love relationship for you. So, here it is one more time: you can either focus on what was and what is, and continue attracting evidence of that. Or you can relentlessly, stubbornly, idealistically think about, imagine, take actions in regard to what you'd rather have. It isn't easy, but it's do-able. Keep in touch.
Lynda