As of this evening I've about had it. I've blown every light bulb in our house multiple times over the past six months. Sometimes they pop when my body is near them, or they pop when I turn them on. These are light bulbs that have been in the light fixtures for only a day, few days, or less than two weeks. They can be lamps, bathroom fixtures, and even ceiling fixtures. No one else in the family makes the bulbs pop. The light bulbs don't just not turn on, they actually pop loudly and crackle in front of me. It's really bothering me. I'm a grown woman in my forties and have often had strange experiences since I was a child.
Last fall I had just left my ill mother at the hospital and went out into the hospital parking lot to the car. I had my purse in one hand, and my car keys in my right hand. I sat down in the driver's car seat, rested my head a minute, and, after a minute, decided I should start the car and head home after the long day. Suddenly the car radio came on. The car keys weren't even in the ignition. I was able to turn the radio off, and quickly started the car. I sat for a few minutes staring at the radio feeling rather prickly. The song playing was nothing special. Not like when my brother died 13 years ago in New York, and the song "A New York Minute" came on the radio at 10:11 am while I was at my desk at work, and for some odd reason it made me think of him and I looked at the clock. I found out eight hours later that he was crushed beneath a car in his automotive garage at that moment.
Recently, while talking to my 24 yr. old daughter over the phone, I heard her say a full sentence to me in my head before it actually came out of her mouth. It was a sentence that was totally out of the blue. Not anything I would have expected, heard before, or would have anticipated. I felt ethereal immediately afterwards. My hair prickled and my arms had goosebumps.
Right now I feel tired -- emotionally spent. I feel on edge. I have absolutely strange, strange, strange dreams. Nothing scary -- just long, unusual, and they play out like novels. Often my dreams stay with me through the day -- the feelings, emotions, and sometimes a sickly feeling of dread. It's that feeling of dread when the dream flows over me at odd moments of the day. I can never pinpoint why I feel that dread. There are times when that dread washes over me at the oddest times -- putting laundry in the washer, reading a book, setting the table, etc. Only every once in a while I will have an instantaneous flash of a women in the 1940s era standing at the back door of her house looking out over her rear yard, and seeing a man driving down a dirt road in an old horse and buggy. That sense of dread washes over me to powerfully that I feel ill and panicky. It's a feeling of disgust, aversion, suspense, evilness, and more. I can see the kitchen counters beside me, feel the lightness of the dress I'm wearing along with an apron, picture the yard before me, sense the size of the house, know my hair color and style, and hear the sound of the screen door. Many, many of my dreams are like this.
I HAVE had four experiences in the past year where I'm frozen in my bed in the early hours before I wake up, and I feel scared. It feels like I'm awake. I can look around my room and down the hall, but I can't break through a strange ethereal feeling. My sense of hearing is sharp, yet I feel like I'm in a slight fog and can't break away. I feel that there is another presence in the house. I've never seen this presence, but it's an acute feeling that this being is there. It's almost like when I'm in this state and open my eyes that I make the presence move away. It's an awful feeling.
I've also had several times in my dreams and waking up moments where I am unable to discern the difference between the real world and my dream world. I literally have to fight to get back to the real world. I will be in my dream asking myself, "is THIS my real life? Or that other life?." I have to pull myself out of the dream, try to gather my surroundings, force myself to open my eyes and situate myself in this world -- bedroom walls, trees outside the window, etc. There are times when I'm so afraid that I'll get left in the dreams. My dreams are VERY realistic -- feelings, touch, texture, and a sense of colors.
I've been told I'm very sensitive to people, very intuitive, and am the "go to" person when people want to talk. Even in high school. I just need to know if what is going on with me is fairly normal, or if there is something more going on around me.
Thanks for your patience and taking the time to read this email. This is just a smattering of what I sense and feel almost daily, so I appreciate any input you can give me.
Dear Barb: I understand why you'd be concerned about all your experiences. They do seem to add up to having quite a lot on your psychic plate. Many people work very hard to open themselves up to the kinds of experiences you just naturally have. First, make some decisions about how much of the otherworldly stuff you want to deal with. Seriously. These things don't come to us without an invitation (conscious or unconscious) from us. You can mediate how much of it you get, and in what forms it comes. It is often the case that powerfully negative information is the easiest to pick up. Or things with a lot of emotional baggage for you personally.
I know what you mean about the lightbulbs. It's so annoying to pop them daily. Not to mention the small appliances, watches, etc. I have to make conscious efforts not to blast things with my electromagnetic energy. Sometimes I forget. I use it as an excuse to be mindful -- to approach light fixtures, appliances, etc. with awake intention. I sometimes shake my hands before I touch something electrical (which includes my car, car radio, CD player, etc.) and then I imagine the outcome I desire. Usually when I do that, everything remains "normal." I especially love when the radio (any radio) comes on by itself just so I can hear a certain phrase from a song.
See if you can relax about your abilities. If the experiences cause you to feel very strange, uncomfortable and give you a sense of dread, remember that you're picking up vibes that are not necessarily yours. Create something helpful to yourself from whatever your philosophy is: if you believe in surrounding yourself in white light, definitely do that. If imagining that you have the roots of an ancient, wise tree, then do that. If you have a spirit guide who protects you, call her/him. Whatever works. Sometimes you'll have to change it to suit the weirdness of the occasion.
If you start to feel the boundaries between what you believe is "real" and "unreal" blurring, you might need additional assistance to re-draw the lines. Take charge. Determine what you wish to experience and imagine closing the door on the rest. Or, if you would simply like to enjoy all of it according to your rules, perceptions, limitations, etc., just make that very clear. Once again, this isn't happening outside of you. Something about these experiences are resonating with an inner trigger from you. There's nothing bad here. You get to decide how nonordinary you'd like this life to be. Vivid dreaming is exciting, but if it gets to be too much for you, perhaps you could utilize hypnosis to adjust your experience. Keep me posted.