What Happened?

Dear Lynda:
I dated a man 25 years ago who was quite a bit older than I. We ended our relationship, went our separate ways, and lost touch. A couple of years ago we were reunited via the internet (email) and have been in touch on and off during this time -- as friends only, nothing more. I, of course, still have some feelings for this man and he made it clear that the feeling was mutual from his side. Neither of us had ever forgotten the other. He has now stopped writing for almost a year, with no explanation, no response to any emails I have sent. I would like to know what has happened, why he has ceased contact with me. Have I done something wrong? Is he ok? I am very confused and do not understand his behavior. Thank you for any insight you can give me.
Pamela, Berthoud, CO

Dear Pamela:
I have a couple of thoughts about your situation. First, I think your friend's idea about what "friend" means was very different from yours. It was absolutely true that he held you in high regard. But I think you always attached more significance to the feelings you had than he did. So, since he considered you a friend -- and one who wasn't a daily participant in his physical life experience -- it was easy for him to get sidetracked and focus elsewhere. Second, I think your friend has gone through -- and may still be going through -- an illness or difficult situation of some kind. If you wish to contact him truly as only a friend (and you'll have to be honest about this), you can send a card which says something brief like: I just wanted to check in with you to make sure all is well." Or some such. And, if you know anyone who knows him, you could do the same, gentle check in. If he doesn't respond to your card, let it/him go. Send him compassionate thoughts and turn your attention back to the areas of your life that you feel good about. Best wishes,
Lynda

Going Through a Rough Patch

Dear Lynda:
My partner and I are going through a rough patch and it's a bad time in his life. He is not very well and is struggling in his life, which has put an enormous strain on our relationship. I'm always there for him. I love him very much, but he's pushing me away. Lately, I have the suspicion that I may be pregnant. It's too early to do a test, and would like to know if you sense anything? Also, if I'm pregnant, can you sense if the baby will be ok and if our relationship will survive? Will my partner be ok? I'm desperately worried. Thanks for your time.
Nikki, Denver, CO

Dear Nikki:
I don't see any evidence of pregnancy, and since there is so much chaos in your relationship, I'm very glad of that. I do see evidence of some kind of substance problem, depression and the image of two horses pulling a wagon, each one trying to go in a different direction. I'm sure that you know we can't make anyone see things the way we see them, nor can we really exert enough continuous willforce to cause someone to walk the path we want them to walk. It is impossible to worry a relationship into holding together. Either it is healthy and you can allow it to unfold naturally, or it isn't going to work. I mention that because it seems to me that you are doing all the work in the relationship, and that never works. Take a step back, breathe, and allow your partner to accept his share of the responsibility. If he doesn't, nothing that you do can change that. Sometimes we have to accept that other people may be self-destructive and beyond being loving, caring, compassionate and offering resources, there is nothing else we can do.
Lynda

Double or Single Birth?

Dear Lynda:
My husband and I have one child. We have tried to have another, but recurring miscarriages have stopped us. I recently had a dream that we would have twins -- a boy and a girl. Several months later I found out I was pregnant with twins! I've been told that one twin died. I might be in denial, but I feel very strongly that they are wrong. Do you see delivery of two healthy babies or one? Thank you for your time.
McKinley, Denver, CO

Dear McKinley:
Please take this with a grain, because from the moment I read your question, my guidance was colored by a great desire for you to have your dream come true. But what I get is a glorious birth of a child. The energy feels female. Please let me know how things turn out, because this doesn't seem like the end of the story.
Lynda