Bracing Myself

Hi, Lynda: Since I was very young, I have been very sensitive to my environment. Reading from you that the world is "vibrational" really explains it. When the sensations were overwhelming, I would do all that I could to expel it from my body. When I was very young, I remember using my alone time to try to shake it from my body or instinctively breathe it out into my hands and throw it away from me. There were also times when I could feel the energy around me like it was in tune with me, lifting my spirit and heightening my other senses. As I grew older, confused by my heightened senses, I tried to deal with the overwhelming experiences by turning to my Dr. Eventually, I was diagnosed with ADD and an anxiety disorder. I take medication that numbs me in a way. Since then, my sensitivity to my environment has been dulled. I miss that connection I had with it. Every once in a while, I do connect deeply with it, but it is much harder to do. But, at least it doesn't seem to be out of my control. Lately I've been feeling a call from deep within to strengthen my gifts of the spirit. Part of me wonders if I've made the right decision to take medication for my anxiety. Part of me wonders if I open those doors to my gifts, that I will be unprepared for the opening of my mind. I can describe it with an analogy. I feel like the Hoover Dam is in front of me and I'm at it's base. It is cracked and a small hole is leaking water. Because I don't fully understand what is happening and because it is frightening to be in that situation, I'm standing there with my finger plugging the hole to buy some time so that I can prepare myself to survive the inevitable rush when it is finally released. I truly sense this world of knowledge that is within my reach is so big, so incredibly huge, that I may not have the strength to withstand it. Honestly, all of this still confuses me -- where is this call coming from? What do I do with my abilities (I feel energy from my hands that I've been able to use to interact with my environment)? I have had paranormal experiences -- why and should I be doing something when I receive information during my experiences? Unfortunately, none of this is cut and dry. Thank you for listening and any help you can offer would be much appreciated.
Sincerely, A.S.

Dear A.S. I work with lots of extremely sensitive clients who have had experiences similar to yours. I hope it will reassure you to know that, after the dam breaks, the flood is only temporary. The water that rushes in, overwhelming you, will soon find it's own balance again. Anxiety is often a rational reaction to high sensitivity. Taking meds to dull the edges is fine. In fact, in a lot of cases, it's sanity-saving. There is no reason you can't begin working on enhancing your sensory skills while continuing to use medication for increased alignment. You might notice that the more you explore utilizing your senses, the more you can lower the dosage on your meds. Of course, don't discontinue meds without talking to your med prescriber. Where is the call coming from? It's just like anything else. Musicians can't ignore the music. Artists can't distance from the urge to create. Individuals who can read the vibrational universe feel compelled to do so. It's natural. Nothing to be worried about or afraid of. Even if the flood knocks you down for a little while, never fear. The water will recede. There are many wonderful books about high sensitivity and working with subtle energy. Dive in and start reading. Practice the exercises and enjoy your unique skill.
Best, Lynda

Is it meant to be?

Lynda: I guess my question is similar to many others. It is about a guy, as usual. I moved with a guy I had only been with for four months. Things fell apart fast as I realized that the move made it more obvious that I was not in a good place emotionally or mentally, (I had been depressed for a very long time, years actually before meeting him). I doubted myself too much and felt that I was never good enough. Needless to say we broke up after eight months of living together but then reconciled after a four-month break. Again, we fought about the same things and we ended things completely in July o7. I am now in a much better place because I was able to step out and look at myself. I now love myself for who I am and I appreciate everything I have instead of always looking at what I didn't have. I wrote him an e-mail this past February or March. I explained to him that I had always been in a bad place and that I wasn't really "me" the way I knew I could be. I know he read it and I asked him not to respond though I hoped he would. I still think about him and I feel that things would be very different between us (in a good way) if we were to be together now, although I am not sure if he has changed. I was left w/out any closure from his side because he never explained to me why he did the things he did at the time.
So like many of the letters here, I want to be with him. I send him good thoughts all the time and hope that he is accomplishing the things I know he can. The obvious question here is, is there a future for us? I will not lie, as I do believe we understand each other, I just feel we were young at the time and felt that anything and everything was possible and it was easy when in reality it is not.

Oh, and I do have another question. I have been pulling out my hair since I was 16 (I am 24 now). I have gotten help from counselors and such but none of it has actually really helped the hair-pulling, (though it has helped me get to the great place I am at). I was looking into hypnosis as perhaps an avenue that could help me, (I really want to stay away from medications as I don't think they are the way for me personally). If I am feeling so much better about myself why hasn't my hair-pulling stopped? I realize you probably can't answer that but I assumed one went hand-in hand with the other. Thank you for your insight.

~ hoping for the best and that my heart is telling the truth.

Dear Hoping: I'm so happy you're feeling better about yourself. That's great news. Let me answer the easiest question first. Hypnotherapy is very effective with issues like hair-pulling. In my experience, the pulling is always due to an underlying pattern or belief. Hypnotherapy is definitely worth exploring. It's entirely possible for someone to feel good about her/himself and still be caught up in unconscious patterns. Now to your love issue. I wish I had happy news for you (and please keep in mind this is just my interpretation of the energy of the moment), but an ongoing relationship with the man you mentioned doesn't seem to be "in the cards" for now. I think one of the hardest things for most of us to realize (re: relationships) is that often we attract people who come into our lives for reasons very different than we initially assume. Our true soul mates are the ones who trigger difficult experiences and deep learning. You probably won't agree with this, but it seems to me that if you were with this man, the unconscious behaviors/feelings he stimulates would return. Love is possible, but I think it's with a different person. Allow the one who is coming into your life within the next eight months to be your next joyful experience.
Best, Lynda