A Light at the End of the Tunnel
Dear Lynda:
I am in a state of great transition -- feels like I have been for quite some time. My concerns are very intertwined, as most things are in life. I am an artist (dancer with deeper aspirations to include music) who also is a healer (yoga, bodywork). I am already part of a dance troupe that I founded, but has since been morphed into a collective. I am very passionate about pushing myself forward as a solo artist and know I have all the tools, I am just having a hard time figuring out my initial approach. On top of all this, I am without employment. Thus far, my art hasn't been paying the bills. Massage did in the past, but I am trying to phase that out as a main source. The other problem is that I'm frequently out of town for a week or two at a time for touring, which all in all makes for a huge amount of instability working for myself or other people, thus making me financially unstable and unable to focus on my art. I just moved to a new town a few months ago and can't decide if I should pursue teaching classes (yoga, dance) which would require me to put in some sort of financial investment or just get a job waitressing (or the like) for some much sought after stability. To add to the financial anxiety, my boyfriend has been unable to secure work for the past year and a half despite his aptitude and desire. He has never had this problem before and it's creating a lot of depression for him and of course makes my heart break since I can't do anything about the situation (try as I have). I have already been through a huge amount of processing over the past couple of years and understand I am on the right path, but I still feel a little lost. I had a therapist before who I feel helped me a lot, but also was sometimes unprofessional in keeping appointments, etc. Should I go back to her, search for someone new, or give things a go by myself?
J, Oregon
Dear J:
First, I want to let you know that you have been caught up in a larger pattern. You, like hundreds of other people I've spoken to over the last few years, blame yourself for being unable to get a grip on even the most simple things in the material world. Regardless of what your political orientation might be, the situation in our country has caused huge problems for lots of middle-class people, students, creatives, etc. I really can't tell you how many times in the last few years someone has told me a story of how things were going very well, and then it all crashed. Once again, we've been in a difficult energy. So, keep that in mind. Also, please keep in mind that the pattern is beginning to shift, ever so slightly. It won't fully shift until the source of the murky energy is no longer in a position to cause the problems, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But, you aren't out of the tunnel yet. So, you asked if you should get a job or do classes, etc. My answer is: yes. All of the above. Don't worry about trying to figure anything out yet. Simply follow every lead that appears and let the universe sort things out. Up until now you've been pushing against "what is," and the only thing that can happen when we get focused on (pushing against) something is that we get more evidence of whatever that is. Get a waitress job. Offer classes. Put on performances. Do talks about the healing effects of massage (without actually doing massage, yourself). As you follow every intuitive nudge, things will slowly improve. I know your heart breaks for your boyfriend, but you can't caretake him. It's too much pressure for you, and you honestly can't do anything to help him line up his intentions, anyway. Only he can do that. He has another talent that he could add to the mix. My advice is the same for him: do everything you can do. Even if you have to do some of it for free to get things started. Regarding therapy: You might imagine I'd be an advocate for that. But trust your intuition about whether or not the therapist you used to see is now appropriate for you. It sounds like she's having her own problems, and you might be better off with someone who can model healthy patterns. Good luck!
Lynda
I am in a state of great transition -- feels like I have been for quite some time. My concerns are very intertwined, as most things are in life. I am an artist (dancer with deeper aspirations to include music) who also is a healer (yoga, bodywork). I am already part of a dance troupe that I founded, but has since been morphed into a collective. I am very passionate about pushing myself forward as a solo artist and know I have all the tools, I am just having a hard time figuring out my initial approach. On top of all this, I am without employment. Thus far, my art hasn't been paying the bills. Massage did in the past, but I am trying to phase that out as a main source. The other problem is that I'm frequently out of town for a week or two at a time for touring, which all in all makes for a huge amount of instability working for myself or other people, thus making me financially unstable and unable to focus on my art. I just moved to a new town a few months ago and can't decide if I should pursue teaching classes (yoga, dance) which would require me to put in some sort of financial investment or just get a job waitressing (or the like) for some much sought after stability. To add to the financial anxiety, my boyfriend has been unable to secure work for the past year and a half despite his aptitude and desire. He has never had this problem before and it's creating a lot of depression for him and of course makes my heart break since I can't do anything about the situation (try as I have). I have already been through a huge amount of processing over the past couple of years and understand I am on the right path, but I still feel a little lost. I had a therapist before who I feel helped me a lot, but also was sometimes unprofessional in keeping appointments, etc. Should I go back to her, search for someone new, or give things a go by myself?
J, Oregon
Dear J:
First, I want to let you know that you have been caught up in a larger pattern. You, like hundreds of other people I've spoken to over the last few years, blame yourself for being unable to get a grip on even the most simple things in the material world. Regardless of what your political orientation might be, the situation in our country has caused huge problems for lots of middle-class people, students, creatives, etc. I really can't tell you how many times in the last few years someone has told me a story of how things were going very well, and then it all crashed. Once again, we've been in a difficult energy. So, keep that in mind. Also, please keep in mind that the pattern is beginning to shift, ever so slightly. It won't fully shift until the source of the murky energy is no longer in a position to cause the problems, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But, you aren't out of the tunnel yet. So, you asked if you should get a job or do classes, etc. My answer is: yes. All of the above. Don't worry about trying to figure anything out yet. Simply follow every lead that appears and let the universe sort things out. Up until now you've been pushing against "what is," and the only thing that can happen when we get focused on (pushing against) something is that we get more evidence of whatever that is. Get a waitress job. Offer classes. Put on performances. Do talks about the healing effects of massage (without actually doing massage, yourself). As you follow every intuitive nudge, things will slowly improve. I know your heart breaks for your boyfriend, but you can't caretake him. It's too much pressure for you, and you honestly can't do anything to help him line up his intentions, anyway. Only he can do that. He has another talent that he could add to the mix. My advice is the same for him: do everything you can do. Even if you have to do some of it for free to get things started. Regarding therapy: You might imagine I'd be an advocate for that. But trust your intuition about whether or not the therapist you used to see is now appropriate for you. It sounds like she's having her own problems, and you might be better off with someone who can model healthy patterns. Good luck!
Lynda
posted by Lynda Hilburn @ 2:53 PM
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