Why Hasn't He Called?

Dear Lynda:
I went dancing a while back with some girlfriends and I met "Bill." We had a wonderful time dancing all night, and then he came home with me. I don't usually bring men home that I met at a bar, but "Bill" seemed to be so kind and gentlemanly.

I thought this was the start of a powerful relationship, because we connected so deeply. We talked for hours, but it's been a week now since we met, and he hasn't called. I found out from a mutual friend that "Bill" works for a corporation here where I live and I'm thinking of calling him.
What can you tell me about why I met this man and why he hasn't called? Will it get things back on track if I call him? Please respond as soon as you can because I don't know if I can wait.
Meryl, Los Angeles, CA

Dear Meryl:
I don't remember who said this, but: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome." I think you need to take a deep breath, look at your self-defeating patterns, and stay away from the telephone.

"Bill" has no intention of calling. In fact, if you call him, you'll discover a side of him that you won't find at all pleasant. He has a wife and children -- a fact I'm sure he didn't share with you.

It appears you've been moving from one man to another with such regularity that there's been no time for you to explore yourself and your needs.

I know I often say this, and it's probably the last thing you want to hear, but I would give some serious thought to spending some time without a man in your life. There are some great energetic and emotional benefits to planned celibacy. I wonder what you would do with your life if you didn't have to be OK for a man? What would be different if you mattered?
Lynda