Gold in the Shadow

Dear Lynda:
This has been a very rough year for me. I left a very stressful job running a community creative arts project last March and my husband and I were divorced by the end of April. Since then I've been unable to find an appropriate job because I'm over-qualified for everything I apply for. I have spent some time with a nice man, but there is no future there.

I'm working very hard to stay positive. I see a spiritual counselor and a professional coach regularly and I try to stay busy by exercising a lot. I know that if I continue to envision only a positive outcome, and if I say positive affirmations daily, my life will become the joyful expression that I desire it to be.

Can you look in your crystal ball and tell me what the new year holds for me?
Tam, Denver, CO

Dear Tam:
I've been meaning to buy a crystal ball for years. A very large, dramatic one with an ornate holder. I keep putting it on my list of things to manifest, but it continually slides down the list as other things crowd in at the top. I'll do my best for you without one.

Let me address the easy stuff first. The next few months will bring an opportunity for you to become involved in a job that offers you financial reward and professional growth. It does appear that you'll be running something again. And it might even be involved with the arts. But as much as you're qualified and have the necessary talents for this job, it will press your buttons again. You'll be tempted to lose yourself in your job. Busy, busy, busy. I wonder what you're avoiding by keeping yourself so busy?

I also see evidence of a kind-hearted male energy moving toward you from beyond the horizon (which means you don't know this person already). I know you're usually attracted to men who reject you, but see if you can open your mind and your heart for this one. You asked for the chance to experience true love. Here is your answer. Look for him before the next summer solstice.

I'd like to introduce additional information for you to contemplate. There is a strong undercurrent of fear in your question. One belief about the New Age idea of "light" is that if you keep yourself surrounded with light (good luck with that!), you won't have to experience its opposite. Actually, there couldn't be light without darkness. Exploring the shadow is the richest inner work we can do. Your letter suggests a frantic pushing away of that which is not "light" and "happy" and "positive." As if you'll be swallowed up by something so chaotic, so horrible, that you fear you will not survive.

So, why do I bring up these thorny issues? You're standing at the edge of the abyss called "dark night of the soul," and the more you resist the leap, the more it will pull you. I suggest you add a depth-oriented psychotherapist to your list of helpers and find a spiritual counselor who knows about the gifts of the inner darkness. As is often the case, when we turn and face what's chasing us, it disappears.
Lynda