The Psychic Counselor

Do you have questions about life changes? Emotional concerns? Relationship issues? Spiritual matters? Send your questions to The Psychic Counselor, Lynda Hilburn, and check back here for your answers. Or you can read through the previous posts (check the Archives) to find answers you didn't even have questions for! [*LyndaSoul isn't my name -- it's the combo of my first name with the first word in the name of my hypnotherapy training school.]

Sunday, March 08, 2009


Hello, Lynda: We met about 6 years ago as I was contemplating hypnotherapy courses and I have recently stumbled upon your website. Congratulations on your books! While I feel that I've been moving forward in my development in many ways, in other ways I have felt and still feel stuck. I am a 42-year-old woman and it seems that I'm having a difficult time finding my place in this world. I am clear on my interests, I know myself pretty well, and overall feel quite good about who I am. My financial situation has been a major struggle and while I feel I have uncovered my gifts, it seems like I have yet to come to a place where my gifts and interests can generate income. I am having trouble finding a way through this and feel as if I'm going in circles, uncertain of what to focus upon or which direction to go towards. I am also finding it difficult to find a mate. I have been divorced for 12 years with some very good relationships and I while I'm quite good at being alone, I would very much would like to find a life partner but I'm having trouble finding someone who feels like a fit. I met someone some years ago who I felt very powerful feelings of love for but he was not in a good place in his life, so I stepped away from the relationship but find myself with regret for letting go of what felt like a destiny. What energies seem to be at play in my life this year and what advice can you offer? Thank you very much for your time.
L in Lafayette

Dear L: Thanks for your kind words about my books. I appreciate it. I'm sorry things are so hard. When we're in the midst of one of those times, they seem endless and frustrating. As difficult as it can be (but it doesn't have to be difficult -- the difficulty is a belief we often don't even consciously know we have), you'll need to practice distracting yourself from noticing your current situation. As you well know, if we're looking at what was or what is, all we can attract is more of the same. We often believe we ARE focused on things we can say "yes" to, but it turns out we focus there for one second, then go back to noticing how things "really" are. As the delightful Esther Hicks says, "which drum are you beating?"

This is a wonderful year for you to begin planting seeds (and it's almost spring!!) of desires. Then take baby steps, moving relentlessly toward every form of joy you can imagine. Remember that the brain/mind doesn't know the difference between something observed and something imagined, so it will begin to attract what you focus on. That's such a powerful tool we often disregard. There seems to be confusion -- ideas that aren't in alignment with your larger dream. I find that when we don't know what to do, it's best to do nothing. Go inside. Get back in touch with the vision that makes your heart smile. When action is appropriate, your deeper wisdom will nudge you in that direction. The only thing holding you back are thoughts (and repeated thoughts that have morphed into beliefs). Things really start to move positively for you in June of this year, and by August (if you're courageous and step outside your fears), something marvelous will happen. Now is the time to set your sights high and to write a list of things you can do to further your goals. Which do you choose? Love or fear?
Best, Lynda

Change of job? Location?

Dear Lynda: I'm writing a question, hoping for counsel. My spouse and I both want desperately out of our current jobs/location and are hoping this is the year despite the horrible economy. Is there a move and job change coming for us before the fall? There are a couple of dream job possibilities but I'm almost afraid to hope too much due to past disappointments.

I really felt this was the year but then things tanked economically and the hiring season in our field is beginning to slip away. I'm usually very intuitive except when it comes to myself so its rather frustrating. There have been a few good things about this job but we'd like to be closer to family, and spiritually I feel adrift.

My current position is difficult on many levels, negative energy, difficult colleagues, limitations, uncomfortable location etc. I've tried to find a spiritual community where I could further develop my own empathic abilities but I have seemed to hit a wall in our current location. I'm hoping a move will enable me to make connections in a spiritual community and bring new life to my creative life as well. One of the dream job possibilities I mention above would only be for my husband and would require me to leave my current career path and hope I could cobble something together. So it's a little unnerving despite the opportunity to get out of where we are at present. I guess my question is multi-faceted: will we be making a job change before fall, will we be able to sell the house, will I have to change my career (if so, in what way?) and will I find a place to grow spiritually? Many Thanks and Blessings,

Dear Hopeful: I think it's pretty common that we're not as intuitive about ourselves. Too much psychological/psychic dust obscuring the lens. It's much easier to feel/sense things about others. Since your future is in your hands (choices, beliefs, decisions, fears, etc.) I'm not able to give you a clear indication of exactly WHAT will happen before fall, but something is coming. Something desirable. October seems positively meaningful. And it seems to benefit both partners, rather than only your husband. But before the good appears, there's some unpleasant energy. So, with that in mind, I advise you continue downsizing your lifestyle -- to think about what material things you can let go of. It's so liberating to release unnecessary objects. There will be a disappointment -- but don't get stuck there -- and then a happy surprise.

I know you are aware of this already, but spirituality is an inside job. Certainly, some communities are more involved in various forms of exploration, but where you live shouldn't hinder your personal deepening in any way. Remember that we must BECOME what we desire and then we find ourselves attracting/magnetizing evidence which is in alignment with those decisions/choices. Take care that you don't get so attached to pushing away "what is" that you forget to joyfully anticipate what you prefer. You can't have it both ways.

Give little credibility to the talk of economic ruin. As I've heard often lately, there is opportunity in difficulties -- if you choose to focus there. I feel good about you.