Hi Lynda: It is for the first time I am sending an email like this and reaching out to someone I don't know. I hope you would be able to clear some of my doubts. A year ago, I met this man and we have a wonderful connection. However, he is Indian and has a different race and religion than mine. I thought this might be an issue with us coming together for a lifetime but he spent hours trying to convince me that it wouldn't be the case and we shall be able to work it out. A year of a wonderful time later, we broke up. Or rather, he broke up with me. However, I am not sure I understand what the real reason was. He mentioned vaguely that tragedy has struck his house lately and in this he feels he might be betraying his single mom by marrying a foreigner and so on. The current state of affairs is that I am disillusioned/mad and I am not exactly even civil to him when we speak. On the other hand, he is quite sweet to me. When I have lashed out at him for promising what he couldn't deliver, he just tells me he is confused. At other times, he just listens silently and then hugs me. This is a very vocal and aggressive guy otherwise and his behavior is very strange. His friends tell me that he has become extremely aggressive after breaking up with me and secluded, but he has turned almost docile towards me. I can literally walk all over him without any angry word from him. Now, I am confused. I am not even sure what I want out of this relationship or whatever is left of it. My parents of course, are more than happy that I am now free to date someone who isn't as foreign to us, but I don't really care about this. I want to know where this is going, where this would do. In my heart I have broken up with him and I don't really get sad or mental about it, but strange events keep on throwing us back and I get bewildered and annoyed. It is as if there is something binding us together, and neither of us seems to break all connections even though I, especially, want to do it. And it is not because of falling prey to emotions and going back to each other. Again, I just want to know what would happen to this. I am so confused. Thanks so much
Maria: Sometimes there is a long time period of confusion after a breakup. Both parties are unable to fully let go, and the hopes and dreams of the past continue to tie the individuals together. If you are serious about ending the connection, take some steps in that direction. Change your patterns. Meet new people. I see reluctance on the part of your friend to step into the unknown. And I see pressure being exerted on him by someone close to him. Be honest with yourself and with him and act accordingly. June is a very important month for you regarding romance. Pay close attention to the person you are most attracted to then. In the meantime, figure out what else matters to you. What else is important in addition to relationship?